Watch out, J.Lo! Why MLB players make the worst husbands–and NHL players make the best

Carmen Kissel-Verrier was naive and young when she started her career as an international exotic dancer, and it opened up whole new worlds to her—some of which definitely weren’t savory, including being held captive in Bolivia by a cartel. During that time, she encountered many professional athletes, many of whom were supposedly in relationships or married, and saw firsthand how the culture of different professional sports encouraged or discouraged players from stepping out on their wives and girlfriends.

Her advice for J.Lo? Don’t bet on A-Rod staying faithful.

In her coming-of-age memoir, The Butcher Shop Girl (Friesen Press), Kissel-Verrier writes with vivid detail about her experiences as an elite world-traveling entertainer, including the pro athletes she met along her journey.

Here’s her ranking of professional sports in terms of how loyal the players are to their WAGs:

1. NHL Hockey Players
We rank NHL players at the top of our best to date list because their backstory usually includes upbringings on farms and small towns. They’re usually the “aw-shucks ma’am, types” which is cute and endearing. Sometimes they even come from eastern Europe and are just so happy to be in North America, skating for freedom and looking for love. 

2. NFL Football Players
Ciara, Shailene Woodley, Olivia Culpo and Lizzo (“new man on the Minnesota Vikings…”) have it right. These guys will likely treat you well because if not, their mamas will drag them off the field by their ears and they always listen to their moms! Their respect for women is quite admirable, typically.

3. NBA Basketball Players
Watch out, Khloe Kardashian! Ugh. These NBA buzzer-beaters are definitely on the risky side but remain a solid rank of #3 out of 4 on our list: Their off-court swagger is intoxicating. They know exactly how to dress for a night out, will say all the right things and slip into your DMs as smoothly as a perfectly executed layup. That sexy je n’e c’est quois and all that giant height leave us pining for an eye-level kiss, but their traveling schedules and the temptations presented make them less than ideal.

4. MLB Baseball Players
Not advised! Use extreme caution here, ladies! These players are the very root word definition of “playing the field.” Marilyn Monroe is the only babe who managed to clock a heartache on one of these pro-ballers and it’s never been seen in history again. These slippery-as-they-come sluggers are notorious for side chicks, even when they have an amazing woman at home. We rank them as least trustworthy because they seem to be A-(Rod)-OK with their CS (caught stealing) stats. Run, don’t walk away from these backdoor-sliders.